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When I interview guests on The Doctor of Love Show Podcast, one question I ask is “what is one book you want the Bravehearts community to read?” The majority of guests say The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. I understand why they advise reading this book! Although it’s a bestseller, it surprises me how many people never read it. In my opinion, it’s a must read if you are single or married.
In one of the Facebook groups I’m a part of, a couple of the people urged me to write on The Five Love Languages because most people don’t know the main five love languages. If you are a relationship coach you should have these five memorized. After reading the book myself (and taken a course on the topic) it helped me understand my love language and my wife’s love language. When I knew what her love language was, it helped me understand her better.
Here are 3 Reasons You Should Be Talking About Love Languages:
1.) It helps identify your spouse’s or significant other’s need.
Most men believe if they pay the bills and are present in the home, the wife will be satisfied. Sorry men, there’s more to her. Ever wonder why she’s still not satisfied? You aren’t fulfilling her love language. When you find out what she’s in need of, you will fill her love tank.
Most women believe all men need sex and food. So when she goes into marriage with her “cooking & sex skills” all together, she thinks marriage will be a breeze. Sorry ladies, there’s more to him. When you know and do his love language you will see a new man!
2.) People define love differently. It depends on the person.
What is love to you? Can you explain it in your own practical terms? Ask five different people to answer this question and they will give you different answers. When you know and give your spouse or significant other their love language, they will feel loved.
3.) If one of the five love languages was missing from them while growing up, chances are it’s the love language they will desire from you.
Was dad missing from the home while he/she was growing up? Maybe their love language is quality time or words of affirmation. Did your spouse or significant other grew up in poverty? Maybe their love language is gifts. See where I’m going with this? That’s why you ask these types of questions while in the dating process so you know what you are getting into before marriage.
Oh! I forgot to tell you what the five love languages are:
Acts of Service
Example: cleaning the house, putting gas in the tank, helping kids with their homework, cleaning up behind yourself.
Example: a kiss in the morning (after brushing your teeth), holding hands while in the mall, or touching while talking.
Example: watching a movie together, having lunch together, giving your undivided attention while he/she talks, or a walk around the neighborhood…..together.
Words of Affirmation
Example: making statements like “you are beautiful, I knew you could do it, or I believe in you.”
Example: buying your spouse or significant other clothes or shoes. Giving them a gift card, or simply surprising them with a gift THEY want, not what you think they should have.
If you haven’t read this groundbreaking book or know someone who need it, click the book to purchase on AmazonBuffer