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On The Doctor of Love Show Podcast I ask guests, “Have you been on a bad date? What was that experience like? What did you learn from that date?” When our guest hear that question they giggle and you should hear some of their experiences!
In most cases the first date can be very awkward. It’s the expectation of doing and saying everything right. Then after the date you wonder if there will be a call or a text message saying they really enjoyed the date and would like to do it again. That’s exactly why I wrote this blog three ways not to get invited on a second date.
Yes, there are some things people can do on a date unconsciously that will not get them invited on a second date. Remember this, you don’t have to force a second date to give them “the benefit of the doubt.” If it didn’t work or the chemistry wasn’t there, kindly let your date for the night know that it would be best if we moved on and be friends. You will still speak to them after church on Sunday’s and keep it casual.
Understand that feelings might be hurt, but you don’t have time to play games. You have too much at stake from going to school, working, and some of you are single parents. Dating can become expensive for a guy if he continues to go on different dates with women who he’s trying to impress. Plus, it’s important to define a “date” between the two of you. When there isn’t clarity, communication problems can start the date on a bad foot.
Here are three ways not to get invited on a second date:
-Talk about your ex
Who wants to go out on a date and all the other person talks about is everything their ex did wrong? If this is the case, that person has not truly healed and shouldn’t be on a date with you in the first place. If talking about an ex has become habitual, they won’t know how much time they spent talking about him/her and it will naturally flow while on the first date. Old habits die hard….
-Constantly checking your phone:
We just talked about old habits dying hard! In today’s world of up to the minute status on social media, the temptation is always there to see what others are saying (especially to you) by checking your phone. When someone is checking their phone constantly while you are talking can become an instant turnoff. If they aren’t paying you attention on the first date, can you imagine their attention span towards you next year? Want to become valuable to others? Give your date the undivided attention they deserve and leave your phone in the car (gasps)!
-Making sexual references and advancements
Some guys think they are God’s gift to women (especially when they are used to having their way with women). So they feel a sense of entitlement to say or make sexual references or advances towards women. When a man thinks of you like that on the first date, he has a lack of respect for you. Ladies, never wear something with your cleavage out or a form fitting outfit on the first date! You want him to see you as a lady, not just a set of T and A. Men are highly visual and if you display your curves and cleavage, he will stay there.
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