Are You Marrying Based on Potential?

Are You Marrying Based on Potential?

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“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death” -Prov. 14:12

JaMarcus Russell, Tim Couch, David Carr, Courtney Brown, Ryan Leaf. Any of these names sound familiar? For those of you who are drawing a blank right now, these men were made famous in the National Football League. What do they all have in common? They all are referred to in the NFL as a “bust.” In other words, these men spectacularly failed to meet high expectations. But they all were phenomenal at the collegiate level, they all were #1 overall draft picks, and they all were paid a lot of money up front before they had ever played one game in the NFL. Now they were still great athletes, but in the NFL men are playing the game in order to feed their families, not just to pack the seats in a college football field.  Professional football players are more than just physically tough, they are mentally tough.

Are you dating someone because they have potential? If so, you may be dating a “bust.” Merriam-Webster defines potential as, “existing in possibility; something that CAN develop or become actual.” Simply put, potential is future work. Ladies, are you giving that man guaranteed sex up front before marriage? Many women and men think the person they are about to marry has so much potential, but how do they really know for sure? Their fiancée may show flashes of greatness when everything is going great, but what about when situations get rough? What happens when things don’t go their way? How do they respond to failure?

Also, many people marry hoping that their spouse will change after the wedding.  Some even conclude that, “He/she is in transition right now, but he/she has so much potential.” Keep in mind that while the potential may be present, what you see is what you get.  After the first six months of dating, people usually take off their “Macy’s floor assistant” attitude.  You know what I’m talking about: they look good, smell good, and are oh so polite. Don’t get me wrong, people can change, but the percentage of people who do change after marriage is low. Are you willing to put up with this person, all the while hoping they will change? You can’t make anyone do anything they are not willing to do. Adults do not respond well to being molded and reshaped by another adult, but that’s where God comes in; He can change anyone!

Two things people need to look for in a potential spouse are the consistency in their character and whether or not that person continually finishes projects and goals. Consistency or lack thereof, is a tell-tale sign of someone’s true character. How do they behave the majority of the time? Life gets rough at times and you don’t want someone who is “questionable.” Having potential to be someone special does not automatically make a person available to ascend to the next level. Keep that in mind and choose wisely. What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below and subscribe to our mailing list



Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play