Before you decide to divorce

Before You Decide To Divorce

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Before you decide to divorce let’s compare marriage to football because the way they run juxtapose to each other. For example, look at the relationship between the wide receivers and quarterback.  The group must invest a lot of time together before they play the other team in front of thousands of screaming fans on a Sunday afternoon.  They must spend time catching the ball, running routes, watching film and plenty of communication.  This can take up months of hard work just to execute and hopefully win the game in one hour on a Sunday.

But something happens during the live game. Sometimes the wide receiver might drop a pass or the quarterback under pressure from the defense so he didn’t see the receiver open. On the sidelines you see tempers flaring between the quarterback and receivers because things didn’t go the way they planned during practice throughout the week or training camp. Eventually the group will come together again to make big plays, throw the pass to the receiver, score the touchdown and win the game!

 

Over the course of time a quarterback or receiver on the same team wants a trade because they want more money, better treatment or think going to a different team will win them a championship. Eventually their wish comes true being traded; only to find out they had it better if they just persevered with the previous team.

Divorce can be like the example mentioned above if you continually let the arguments and differences take control of the marriage like the quarterback and receiver on the sideline when they aren’t seeing eye to eye. What’s in marriage that make two people who once madly in love wants to divorce? Let’s throw out the “big reasons” like infidelity, abuse and neglect. These are no brainers to those who want out but still must be closely examined before making the decision to divorce. But more of the subtle things like communication breakdown, loss of love and the ever so popular “we grew apart” which is all too common why people divorce.

There will be tough times in marriage and it’s important to give your spouse the reassurance that you will stay committed to the vows taken on the wedding day before God (most importantly) the congregation and pastor. If one can’t keep their word during the marriage ceremony what makes their words valid after a divorce? It’s better to stay in the marriage although adversity will arrive. Jesus says here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. –John 16:33 If you look back at your previous marriage you start to think we could have got through it if we just hung on long enough and you will eventually forgive the ex-spouse since the two of you are no longer together. Some think it’s a relief to divorce but it affects more than you. It affects:

The Children: Many times during a divorce, children think they are the blame. They take the hurt with them throughout their adulthood. In most cases they whether play house with someone than make the commitment to marriage. Also, according to the New York Times:

Evidence shows that children from broken homes are more likely to experience poverty, teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol addiction, depression, reduced educational attainment, decreased longevity and suicidal thoughts. What parent would want that for their children?

Your Spirituality: Has the way you viewed God changed since making this decision? Do you believe He’s still in control? Consider how Christ is married to the Church and all the issues today church has, Jesus love is unconditional (See Ephesians 5:25). There will be no marriage in Heaven (Matt. 22:30) while on earth we should set the example of true love. For more information check Rev. 19:7

Financially: A divorce is not cheap! He/she might have to pay alimony and/or child support. The incomes are divided and now flow into separate households. According to The Huffington Post:

The average cost of a divorce in the United States now runs about $20,000 from legal fees and alimony payments, to the division of assets and possible tax consequences.

For I hate divorce! says the Lord -Malachi 2:16

 

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Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play