What Does a Good Marriage Look Like?

What Does a Good Marriage Look Like?

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What does a good marriage look like? That’s a question most people are scratching their head about in bewilderment. Well look no further because I have the answer! First I must say the perfect example is the love Jesus has for the church (not confined to a building, but you and me). If you are honest with yourself (me included) we all have personal issues we deal with on a regular basis and to know that Jesus love us in spite our sin, I’ll take that kind of love any day. Unconditional love is the key ingredient to a good marriage.

In today’s pop culture we view Jay-Z and Beyoncé as a measuring tool to know what a good marriage look like. Even with President Obama and First Lady Michelle we use as examples.



Rabbit trails: of all the Presidents that graced the White House who were all married by the way, we only put President Obama marriage on a pedestal? Is it because they’re black and we aren’t used to seeing “successful black marriages?”    

No knock against the people mentioned above but we are missing something here: what about our parents? What about the married couples who live in our neighborhood? Shouldn’t we use them as examples first? We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors of married celebrities but we know what goes on in our own households. Could it be we love not knowing the trials and tribulations celebrities go through in marriage but all we see is the couple on the cover of our favorite magazine smiling, or holding hands on the red carpet with hundreds of photographers taking pictures?  Yet, we don’t celebrate the married couple that lives next door to us for staying married despite setbacks and obstacles.

It amazes me how many people desire to marry but don’t know the purpose of marriage or haven’t seen a healthy one. That’s like trying to start a business just to become a millionaire but don’t know what it took for that person to make millions. All you see is the results of him and his business, but if he took time to take you behind the scenes and how it really works, it might scare you away not knowing how much work was involved. That’s why it’s important to get around those who have a healthy marriage and glean from them. If you have a mother and father who’s happily married, thank God! They are setting the example before your very eyes. What you’ve seen from them will help you in the future.

Here are some components I believe are keys to what a good marriage look like. They should have:

Prayer: Powerful things happen when we come together and invite God. This is something that should be done on the regular, not only on Sunday mornings.

Unconditional Love: (Refer back to first paragraph) to display this kind of love is no easy task but to give your spouse this reassurance is Christ-Like. If a spouse takes advantage of this unconditional love (example: cheating or using the spouse as a door mat) they will give an account on the day of judgment 2 Corinthians 5:10

Lines of communication open: They can communicate to their spouse at the right times. There aren’t any secrets that will throw the other off guard. Your spouse is approachable and not has to worry about being rejected or belittled.

Show sensitivity to one another: They think before they talk and not let their emotions get the best of them. They don’t use words like dumb, I hate you, divorce, and I wish I never married you or using curse words. Using words to build up and not tear down will keep longevity and positivity in the marriage for decades to come.

Have a wide range of topics to discuss: We can discuss more than reality TV, music, cell phones and comedies. We can discuss history, the bible, current events and personal growth.

Shared vision and/or goals: Having a common goal always enhances a marriage because the two are willing to put aside their differences. When this happens it teaches the couple sacrifice and oneness.

What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below.

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Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play