Helping The Wrong People

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“I have helped the wrong people more times than I can count.” I remember shouting when Bishop Jakes said “I have been Moses more than once. I have helped people who sued me, who lied on me, who betrayed me….” That shout felt good too let me just be real about that!  When we say the “wrong people;” we mean we helped people who didn’t appreciate it, who wasn’t reciprocal or who ran off with the help and treated us badly or totally forgot.

That used to break my heart and rip me in pieces. Especially when they were the ones asking for the help while I was minding my own business on what God called me to do. I discovered (after many years and tears) that they didn’t use me to help them. God did. How can I be a Christian and be angry with them that I was used by God to help them? It doesn’t make logical sense. Neither does grace.

When we look at the Cross (that is empty by the way) if JESUS went first and did it first; what’s our problem? What is with the “pretend politically correct grace?” Jesus was not politically correct. In fact He opposed it, which made him hated and even misunderstood by those in his inner circle. That same circle attempted by their own human, mis-informed logic having not yet received the baptism of the Holy Spirit, even tried to prevent Jesus from walking in His calling. Sometimes those closest to you that you help will be the very ones to take your presence for granted until you are absent….

When we help other people from a pure heart they do the above mentioned things or worse; we don’t have to check our own motives. But if we do them expecting something in return or even a “thank you,” and of course the basic expectation that they at least will treat us with respect; we set both parties up for failure. Jesus prayed by Himself in the Garden of Gethesemane after asking those closest to Him to pray with Him for one hour. Just one hour. They fell asleep. Who controls sleep? Read that again. The disciples didn’t just “happen to fall asleep.” Neither did Adam. God as the Father put Adam to sleep to pull something out of him that would expand and produce after Him. Go back to the Garden of Gethsemane. The disciples, “the help” were put to sleep by the Omnipotence of God. Not to “teach Jesus” a lesson but to teach us a lesson. What is God “pulling out of you?” 

When you are headed to a place that’s bigger than you for a people that don’t know you and for those who do know you and act like they don’t and pretend that they never walked with you; God will strip every one of them away. He will allow them to fall off and even mistreat you to bring you back to Himself. That moment in the Garden of Gethsemane prepared Jesus to be beaten and nailed to a Cross with both hecklers, family and friends around—ALONE with NO HELP. No original disciples to help him carry the cross nor “help hand out food for the hungry.” The next time that you find yourself getting upset about helping others who are unappreciative or who act like they don’t know you or owe you…. Look to the Cross. Look to Peter denying his close relationship with The Lord. Look to Pontius Pilate who caved under pressure and finally made a decision to let the “haters have their way.”

I once had someone that I helped “yell-text” me “I OWE YOU NOTHING!!!” The sad part about that was the “I owe you nothing,” came after I apologized for something that I didn’t do just to calm them down from that devil running amuck in their mind and to show grace. In actuality I was the one who should have been given an apology. Bishop Noel Jones once said: “You know you are in the Hands of a Master Manipulator when you find yourself apologizing to people for what they did wrong to you.” Look again at Jesus on the Cross: “Father Forgive them for they know not what they do.” That wasn’t a forgiveness prayer because people did him wrong after helping them. That was a prayer of POWER. It wasn’t a “Lord, Daddy help these crazy people because they don’t even realize who I am and they have forgotten what all I have done.” That was a prayer of release and increase. Sometimes you have to release for increase. Release your feelings. Release your friends. Release your family; not because of how they treated you and ALL because of where God is taking you and yes: Where God is taking them too. They have purpose too. 

Dear Hurt Helper: Jesus did it 1st. He knew what He was doing by making the decision to help. His hope and His expectation weren’t on the people or even in the “forgiveness prayer” as we see it so theologically transparent. His hope was in the help. Pause. Catch your breath. His hope was in the help. Now Inhale. Exhale. Jesus had and has HOPE in YOU. Colossians 1:27 

Jesus knowing who He was and where He was going to “get up and breathe” again with all power in His hands….. transferred that same power to His Disciples pre-crucifixion. Not only that; He taught them along the way. That’s another form of help. He didn’t expect anything back because there was no human on Earth nor will there be that COULD help Him back.

Our responsibility as Believers rests in our willingness to follow the full call of God; but, if we lay “the call down” we still have a responsibility to be reciprocal in our relationship with Jesus. It’s vertical love that will determine your velocity and living in the land of hurt feelings and hate about what you did for someone with nothing in return means that you prefer horizontal recompense over God’s Omniscience. Read that again. People do not have the power to help you on the level that you may have helped them and they don’t have the power to help you back the way God desires to help you. Look at it againPeople do not have the power to help you, but in expecting them to do so you are releasing that power to the incapable. There may be other reasons. Maybe they are going through something. Perhaps they are busy. Maybe they really do have amnesia. Maybe God did give them an anesthetic. If you spend all your time concerning yourself about the “maybe’s” I just mentioned; you will miss it. You will abandon your vertical trying to appease your horizontal and that is nothing more than a “Jesus Junior” mentality. God is everyone’s Savior. If He used you one or one hundred times to help “the wrong people,” it doesn’t make you equal to Him. It does make you In His Image as long as you did it from a pure heart without complaining and without advertising it. 

 I remember telling an “important” person: “I regret ever helping you and hooking you up with this.” I said that because of the mistreatment I received after that. But once I looked back at it from Calvary, I said: wow…. Every team has a player that God will use to catch a “Hail Mary” pass for the TEAM; not the individual. That’s what Jesus did. He caught a Hail Mary, “shouted hold on to mama Mary and moved on to the next and then the next phase until He got up with all power to complete His promise: And after that the Holy Ghost shall come upon you… Acts 1:8
 You don’t just help 1 “wrong” person when they ask you for a piece of bread or a bio…. You help every person attached to them. Neither when you give unsolicited help. That’s not even your hand doing it. That’s the Hand of God. From today forward: If you are used by God to help someone….. Remember that “some-one” has at least one soul attached to them that either does or does not know Jesus yet. Point: Help from a pure heart. Be grateful that God chose to throw you, of all people on HIS team, a Hail Mary to help more than that one person. Just like Jesus, you have helped or will help people they are or will be connected to and that is the place you will discover that it’s not about you at all. It’s not even about who you helped. It’s about something & some “ones” who are on God’s mind too. Go deeper and let God Breathe on you…again. 

~Transparently Tash

John 18:38 “What is Truth? I find no fault in Him,” said Pilate from a place of regret not even fully discerning that he helped Jesus “Get up” too and yet fully aware of who He was in such a profound way that he refused to let the “wrong things” be written about Jesus. Inked on His Heart and His Hands…. There we all are.

 Jesus was born to die. Guess what? We have to die too. DAILY until we hear “Well Done… Get up on in here and get this crown my good and faithful Child.” 

A “hater” cannot help you until you have first helped them. Ponder that behind the Cross of Jesus & release the hater mentality. God used and is using you how HE sees fit. If you are going to be upset–take it to the one who made your heart & ask Him to clear it before you cross over. 

© Natasha Stevens. All Rights Reserved. 

In Loving Memory of one of the Greatest Helpers I Have Ever Had the Pleasure of Having In My Life: Corey Hampton


Natasha Stevens

Natasha Stevens is a writer who has ghostwritten books for many leaders in both ministry & business. Natasha serves as an Ambassador for Girl Rising, a global platform that uses storytelling to inspire girls around the world to get an education and celebrates those who are overcoming obstacles to become the great girl leaders they were born to be. Having traveled and lived abroad for study and missions, she has garnered the respect of some of the top Universities and Prep Schools both in the United States and abroad, as well as Outreach Ministries. She is the Executive Director of Creative Content at where she assists current and aspiring filmmakers in procuring financing for film and television projects. Natasha has a heart for women’s ministry as well as youth education, counseling & missions.