How Premarital Christian Counseling Isn't As Bad As You Think

How Premarital Christian Counseling Isn’t As Bad As You Think

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When most of us hear the term “counseling” we get a bad feeling about it as if we are crazy. We have to erase negative thinking then it comes to that word. Especially in the sense of premarital counseling. There’s nothing wrong with a trained, well seasoned married couple who can give you sound biblical principles on a lifelong marriage.

When a man propose marriage to a woman, at that time they believe love is all they need to get by. Everything else is meaningless. They have on the rose colored glasses and their spouse to be can do no wrong. Then the big statement comes:

“We don’t need premarital counseling.”

Why would a newly engaged couple overlook premarital counseling? I believe most newly engaged couples have an idea of what comes with it, that’s why they might refuse it. In some cases the guy don’t belong to the same church she does so there’s a certain type of tension of who will they get premarital counseling from.

Some church members won’t go through premarital counseling because the pastor or licensed Counselors want them to wait. There might be a healing process that must take place from one’s past before getting married, and in some churches grief recovery classes are offered before getting into premarital counseling.

After going through premarital counseling with my then fiancée had me think about things that I never thought of during our sessions. This is one reason premarital Christian counseling isn’t as bad as you think. The pastor or counselor has certain insight on marriage that you won’t see.  There’s a wealth of life application on what the Bible says about marriage and all Christian Counselors should teach premarital counseling from a Biblical perspective, whether today’s culture like it or not.

Believe that the pastor or licensed counselor from the church has the engaged couple’s best interest. If they tell you something you don’t want to hear, it’s ok. They are taking you out of your comfort zone and for you to think outside yourself. Marriage is about putting your spouse needs before your own. If you don’t like serving or sharing, stay single! Marriage isn’t for everyone.

But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another -1 Cor. 7:7

I never heard anyone regretting premarital Christian counseling. It’s better to get it opposed to not getting it at all. We all need some accountability because in our own eyes, we are never wrong! When you have someone looking at you from the outside they can help point out the blind spots that we so easily miss. Will premarital Christian counseling be a little uncomfortable? Sure. But as the exercise gurus say, “no pain, no gain.”

Just to prepare you before you go into premarital counseling, here’s some questions they might ask you:

-Will you follow Biblical principles throughout your marriage?

-Were your parents married? If they divorced, how did that impact you?

-What are your plans for the next three years?

-(If you have kids from a previous marriage or relationship) Have the kids met? How do they get along?

-Were there any past sexual abuse?

-Will you go over the finances together? Who’s the saver and who’s the spender?

Hopefully this blog will ease your anxiety about premarital Christian counseling. What are your thoughts? Subscribe to our blog via RSS


Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play