How Soon is Too Soon to Tell Someone You Love Them?

How Soon is Too Soon to Tell Someone You Love Them?

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How soon is too soon to tell someone you love them? I’m not talking about family members or friends, but your significant other you recently started dating. There’s never a cookie cutter time to actually say to your new significant other that you love them. The sad thing about telling your new boyfriend/girlfriend I love you too soon is we use the term to loosely.

When you tell your new boyfriend/girlfriend you love them, what are you really saying? Are you saying it in terms of hoping the relationship will go to a deeper mental and spiritual level? Or are you saying it as your wild card hoping to get something from them for your own personal needs?

When you look at the way The Bible used the word love it should make you rethink how to use it when you want to express a deeper feeling about someone you are dating. Let’s look at some scriptures on the word love:

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. -‭John‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭8‬

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. -John‬ ‭15‬:‭13‬

After seeing these scriptures on love, does it give you a different outlook on the word? The Bible is using love in a sense of giving, unconditional, and even laying down one’s life….if you truly love your significant other. I can’t tell you how to feel when it comes to your bae, but to tread lightly when it comes to using the “L” word.

We are naturally selfish. So, we should do a heart check before throwing around the word in hope for something in return. Remember, true Biblical love is unconditional. Here are things we need to check in hope of playing on the strength of telling someone you love them.

Sometimes men use the term I love you in hopes of having sex.

Regardless if we love God or not, a man is naturally attracted to a woman and would like to have sex. The difference is when a man has a personal relationship with The Lord, he understands that he should wait until marriage. But men know in order to have sex with a woman he’s interested in, he’s going to play his wild card and say I love you. When the majority of women hear that term from her boyfriend for the first time, she starts to loosen up. So my question to the men is, do you really love her, or are you trying to have sex?

Sometimes Women use I love you in hopes of him drawing closer to her emotionally.

Since men prefer to be respected than loved, this is a point some women miss. Sure women want to be respected, but they desire to be loved. So naturally, a woman will tell her new boyfriend ‘I love you’ in hopes of drawing him closer to her emotionally. She will throw out her wild card because she wants the deeper spiritual and mental stimulation from her boyfriend. She wants him to open up and share his vulnerabilities with her. So my question to the ladies is this, do you really love him, or are you hoping he will try to fill that void in your life?

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Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play