It’s an Inside Job

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Initially when I began my weight loss journey, the focus was ridding my body of the physical weights.  I anxiously wanted to see the number on the scale change.  I did not want to see rolls.  I wanted a flat stomach.  And somehow I wanted all these things to happen miraculously….like overnight.  Truth is, nothing really changed as long as I focused on the outward changes.

Essentially, you can work out day and night, but if your mindset about yourself has not changed, you will continue to see flaws.  Furthermore, losing weight is not the antidote for low self-esteem or negative body image.

Don’t get me wrong; it is nothing wrong with wanting to be physically fit and sculpting your body.  However, it is equally (if not more) important to love your body NOW – not when you or society deems it to be “perfect.”  The moment I fell in love with the woman in the mirror is when my journey began.

I began to love me and interestingly the number on the scale wasn’t as important as it once was. (Besides I’m awesome and last time I checked the scale can’t measure that!) *insert laugh*  Also, I no longer felt the need to weigh often or base the success of my fitness journey solely on a scale reading.

I also stopped the negative self-talk.   We must be so careful of the words we speak over ourselves (and the words of others that we allow in our spirit) because words do have power.  The bible clearly states this in Proverbs 18:21:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”

I already know what it feels like to have low self-esteem and negative body image and I refuse to go back to that place again.  So, no I don’t look at my body in disgust and I no longer engage in body shaming conversations.  Moreover, I do not want another woman’s body.

Something else happened on my fitness journey too.  I found that I really like to work out and share my experiences with others.  You will find me in action recording candid shots and documenting my journey – sweat included!  So, yes, I am a plus sized gal and yes I love to pump iron!

Essentially, the greatest lesson that I learned was real change begins from within.  Losing weight by dieting is not the answer.  You must get to the root of the issue – and for me that meant getting to know myself and not allowing the scale to validate me.  In closing, had I continued to stay in that place called “defeat”, I would have missed out on an amazing opportunity to encourage others…but thank God for change!


Nijah Jihad

Hi I'm Nijah and I'm NJ's Plus Sized Beauty & a lover of many things- Jesus, kittens, music, fashion, health and my momma to name a few!