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I’m praying for you today. You are walking in a world where other single sisters don’t respect you. They see you as their competition. However twisted that may be, it’s real. It started with Eve and the serpent. Not with Sarai and Hagar. Eve had no competition. She and Adam were on the same team. There were no other women on the scene. She was her only competition. What vibes are you giving off that no women respect you? Is it you or is it them? What serpent did you allow to slip into your life and plant seeds of doubt about what God said about you? Which is a segue-way into this…
If you yourselves are insecure for the myriad of reasons that cause insecurity, work on that now not “before marriage,” not “because you want to get married;” work on it now so you can be holistically effective.
Holistically effective means that with your trust in The Lord, you are secure and confident in your field of work, the way you take care of yourself, the way your home is cleaned, the way your car is cleaned, the way you handle yourself in public as well as the way you carry yourself in church. All of who you are will affect all of what you do. Work on the “who you are” part so that the “what you do is a genuine extension of you. It’s so much less exhausting when you don’t have to “work” on “work.”
From there you will be able to discern a lot more than I can share in this post. Be sure to surround yourself with confident women. Confident in God, themselves and their relationships. Surround yourself with women who don’t need a man to prop them up emotionally. That will rub off on you. A man cannot do that all day long every day. Make sure your friends know how to call the Word back to themselves, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” Psalms 139. If she is having a rough day-encourage her but do not become her crutch. When she marries with a crutch… She will limp and lean too hard on her husband for the wrong things and then he won’t be effective in his calling and the day he forgets to tell her she’s beautiful is the beginning of “seeking security from the sidelines, sidewalks, streets, screens and social media.”
The Feminist A-Type Sister… Send her packing now. If you are her or have traces of her…. Change positions or find some healthy balance. Do not be the “I don’t need a man” woman. That’s a lie. Some women can do it. But you do and you will at some point need a man. Now “needing a man,” is not the same as needing a husband. Let me break this down…. You help meet a husband’s needs… So really he needs you. Are you ready for that however? You will know when God says you are ready and when you aren’t so high maintenance and that is just an “oil check” you can run by yourself and those close sisters who aren’t afraid to confirm what you already know or have sensed, heard etc about yourself from loving women and godly men who care. Emphasis on “loving and godly.”
Also let me interject for any men that may be reading this post: I have heard too many single sisters beat up and beat down by comments made by Christian and Non Christian Men who are both single and married such as “So and so needs a husband.” “Old girl just needs a man to hit that one time.” “If I was her man/husband she would or she wouldn’t be…” Men–Do not do this please and say you are a Christian. I cannot count how many women I have counseled that have come to me with comments like this from the fellas. That is so rude. If you are a single man or a married man-that is not protecting a woman and it disqualifies you in whatever state you are in now. If you are married saying that to these women-it will crop up as a need you can’t meet in your marriage and you will have hell in your home as a harvest off a seed you planted about another women. Take good notes on that one my brothers. If you don’t use your mouths to protect all women-you are no different than a woman. Let that sink in.
“Needing a man,” means that you will in your daily walk need some male input on something. Be it advice on things that men know that women don’t or obeying your Boss, Pastor-if they are men. You need to listen to them. You need to pay attention when they tell you right from wrong-especially as it relates to other men. Most assuredly listen to the men in your family, specifically the elder men. So, yes My Corporate Sister… That brother that you have to crunch numbers with and pump out ad campaigns for your Fortune 500 company or that guy putting the fries in that you have to shake and serve-you will need a man. Work on yourself. Especially your security. Give God time to heal old wounds. New ones too. You are too precious to be pretending. That’s a waste of time. Drag yourself back to Jesus. Let go of the wall of pride that hurt made you place up and ask Him… “Daddy-show me how to be a better me. Show me how to be secure and whole-you make me whole Father without anyone else’s hand.” Talk to God. That is the best “Labor Day” advice I can give you today.
You are a blessing. You are beautiful. You are a treasure. Question is: Do you know it? If you “over-know it,” it will come across unattractive to females and males. I’m praying that the rest of this year and for your lives you will be surrounded by healthy people and whole relationships. No one is perfect but there are people with flaws that were specifically here for you to fly-and for you to support them to soar!
Writing a letter to you from Sabbatical. Save it. You’ll need to refer back to it when you can’t get anyone on the phone and it seems like God isn’t listening to you and the pages on the Bible are all just running together. Read it again and go back to praying and studying and please, let bitterness go. Work on you. Let GOD work on you. Watch the way HE makes you glow!