Make a Clear Decision

Make a Clear Decision

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Why are you “with her” for Real? Politics and Relationships

“I’m with her!” “I’m for him!”

Make sure the people who say they are with you aren’t just with you for what they perceive they can benefit from the attachment. Everyone said they were with Jesus, but were they really?

Make a clear decision.

Looking into politics: It is interesting that so many people who have not been before are coming out in strong support of their candidates, what they stand for and what they believe the person will bring to the table of democracy. That’s usually how it’s done. This campaign is interesting. Let’s look at Hillary Clinton: There are people coming out in strong support of her now, during and after the convention that they are “with her.”

The conundrum is-were you as vocally expressive of why you were with her before the convention? Were you on mute when black boys and men were being killed? Were you silent when officers of the law were killed? I get it: People speak on the issues they choose to speak on as they are compelled by some inner or higher force or perhaps, substance to appear connected to what’s going on in society.


Let’s take it a step further. Are you with Hillary Clinton enough to put a bumper sticker on your vehicle? Are you with her enough to wear a T-Shirt? Are you with her enough to make phone calls on her behalf? Are you with her enough to risk being disliked by your constituents, colleagues and dare I say, fans? Are you with her enough to do your daily part in ensuring that what she stands for; you are willing to work for yourself? See to me, you can’t be with anyone when you have disconnected yourself coming in late in the game with a social media post to make some grand statement. To me-that says; “I’m with her because (now) I realize–for what I am trying to do–I’m going to need that woman. I see this from men a lot.

The same is true with engagement and relationships. “Oh, you’re with me now because you see I bring something to the table that you need.” Women are not stupid & for the women playing games, men made the game 1st. And they play it well–until the game flips. “I’m with her!” doesn’t need as much pomp and circumstance as we tend to believe. Just go vote. And just get married or go place a woman in a position on your job.

Politics, Sports, and Relationships: If you played or play-“Nice to meet you. I’m the coach.” -quote

Let’s talk about the Patterns of a Player, shall we?

Every athlete and every politician know the rules of the game. That doesn’t mean that they are not at some point inclined to break them. A flurry of fuss about the current candidates breaking the rules and what “should be done to them,” on all sides has left this country in a state of utter confusion and division. Is your relationship straight? Are there divisions amongst your hardest working employees? We are NOT one nation under God and for those who believe that-go check your playbook.

Donald Trump was the wrong choice for the Republican Candidate in my opinion. But that’s just my opinion. He isn’t qualified. He doesn’t have the experience in the arena but that doesn’t mean his life doesn’t have value even if he devalues the lives of others.

Question: Can you forgive him? Do you pray for him? What about his family? The same way you are to do this in your day to day spousal relationships-is what you are called to do. Go High as First Lady Michelle Obama said. Forgive your husband if he forgot to take out the trash. Don’t bash him over the head and expect that he will want to have dinner plans later. That’s what I call “A Broken Play Pattern.”


Which brings me to my next point: What qualifies you to be someone’s mate? How do you know you are fit for the job just because you “studied their social pages” and “have them all figured out?” Just because you “made a joke” on Twitter and now you “have their attention?” That only works for those who are starved for it. The same thing that has the power to feed your ego also has the power to starve it.


See the thing about players and politicians is they know how to do 2 things:

  1. Be consistent
  2. Break Patterns.

Anyone that can master those two, will master you. Now, do you want a ruler husband or wife or do you want a team player? You will get what you vote for and what you vote for is a natural gravitational pull towards what you think you believe and what you are lacking. Read it again real slowly...


Who made you think who you are with today is who you really need? The media? Your friends? Co-Workers? Who placed those expectations on you? Your parents? Who has you running around in circles and jumping on and off bandwagons so much that you cannot recognize yourself anymore without being in the “game of someone else’s life?” Athletes are conditioned on what to eat, drink, wear, say over long periods of time. After the game, after the season, after retirement, they have to take time away from it all to know what they really want and frankly to find out who they truly are. They are used to other people doing everything for them.

Ladies… If you are doing everything for a man and that’s not your husband or in your job description as a colleague/employee–call it out. If you get backlash–there is no respect there. A real woman can call a man on what he is doing wrong in a way that he is able to receive it without him getting his feelings hurt and going on the defensive. I’m not saying be disrespectful but please know your worth. If it’s one-sided–walk away. It isn’t even worth the debate that he will most likely refuse to have labeled it “drama,” because he doesn’t know how to dialog.


Back to the bench is back to the basics. Why are you with her or him? What do they have that you need? See, it’s real easy to question what you don’t understand. It’s not so easy to question what you think you do understand. Questions make you grow. Questions challenge you. Questions make you work for your answer. When you find it. Make sure it is your answer because that is the one you will have to live with every day. The 48 laws of Power should not be riding shotgun in your relationships of any kind. That is manipulating the play. You will reap in the future what you sow today. Make sure whatever it is–you can sustain it long after the buzzer has gone off.


Swinging from both sides of the aisle to help you think about why you think the way you think in relationships. Be yourself. That’s the only way to attract who and what is meant for you. If you have to keep switch-hitting with the “fans in the stand;” you are not on your own solid foundation. When you find it–and you will–build from there and allow your experiences “in the arena” to throw a pass to someone else sitting on the sidelines praying someone takes note of them and calls their name the next time. Perhaps that is you. Maybe you are the “shot caller.” So, today I challenge you as I have challenged myself–find your position without assistance from anyone but God (if you are married too; your mate is your help) and work on really making a difference in this world and you so do not need a conference to do that.


You do need commitment however because on the relationship level how can you “be with a candidate” but find it difficult to commit to a woman/man that’s your wife/husband or your fiancé or girlfriend/boyfriend or co-worker? You can’t pledge allegiance to a bigger platform if you aren’t appreciating the current plate God has already set before you. Hollering “Hillary” but can’t take care of home (family and business) and Touting Trump but can’t even tackle the “tight-end” coming straight for your whole situation is the concern and the challenge I leave you with. Will you take it?

This is for my Girls and their Guys,


Steady yourself because you deserve It and so does your “candidate and teammate.”


Natasha Stevens

Natasha Stevens is a writer who has ghostwritten books for many leaders in both ministry & business. Natasha serves as an Ambassador for Girl Rising, a global platform that uses storytelling to inspire girls around the world to get an education and celebrates those who are overcoming obstacles to become the great girl leaders they were born to be. Having traveled and lived abroad for study and missions, she has garnered the respect of some of the top Universities and Prep Schools both in the United States and abroad, as well as Outreach Ministries. She is the Executive Director of Creative Content at where she assists current and aspiring filmmakers in procuring financing for film and television projects. Natasha has a heart for women’s ministry as well as youth education, counseling & missions.