Why Being Miss Independent Will Keep You Single

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I have two sisters my mother taught them to be independent because my mother raised four children by herself (I have a brother, plus me). I understand what my mother taught my two sisters because life can be very challenging trying to raise children on your own. The reasoning why my mother taught my sisters to be independent because depending on a man can be somewhat scary. Today, my sisters are happily married but before they took their wedding vows, they already had their own. As my sisters grew and matured, they didn’t want to be miss independent for the rest of their lives. Times have changed since the 1970’s but the divorce rate was much lower. In 2014 divorce rates are high and people lacking commitment, couples having children without marriage so as a woman you should have some skills to pay the bills if he decide to leave.

Parents raise their daughters to be independent. I’m doing the same thing with my daughter, but what my wife and I are doing different is teaching my daughter how to serve. She’s ten years old and can cook, iron clothes and wash clothes as well. She serves me and her brother so when she’s married serving her husband won’t seem foreign. (I know what you are thinking, she has friends and do all the normal stuff a regular 10-year-old do) We live in different times where a young lady don’t know how to cook but can work 50 hour work weeks. I’m not mad at miss independent, get yours! However what bother me is when miss independent “wear her paycheck on her sleeve” brags about how she doesn’t need a man and then goes to bed at night crying, wishing she had someone to hold her at night.

Why being miss independent will keep you single? I’ll tell you why:

-A man has to be needed: 
every man wants to be his woman superman. Since the time he played with toys, he always wanted to be the hero. A man will do whatever it takes to win your approval. Everything a man does is to try to impress you! If you don’t need him, he will find someone who will. What is Superman without Lois Lane, Spider-Man without Mary Jane, or Iron Man without Pepper? 

-No man wants to compete with his woman about “who wears the pants” 
As a man he’s trying to get his money right so he can take care of his family. The last thing he need is to be in a constant power struggle with his wife. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with helping your husband but if you’re second guessing him or belittling him eventually he will back off. Then you wonder why he don’t talk to you as much or engage in intimate conversation. What is a man attracted to? A woman who appreciates and respects him 

-Giving him the impression that “I can do this without you” 
I know you already had your own job, car and place before the two of you met.
Must you reinforce that to him? That says to him “she can leave me whenever she want” and when a man starts to think like that, it makes him vulnerable. Over time you will see him shrink away from the relationship and his attention will be shifted somewhere else. This isn’t popular teaching on men but someone has to tell the truth about what a man feels on the inside. . 

Independent says I don’t need you, interdependence says I bring something to the table but I need you. A child shows total dependence, a teenager shows independence, and adults show interdependence. You’re an adult but your actions says you’re a teenager -Pastor Dewayne Hawkins

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Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play