I'm not sure if hes saved but I love him

Not Sure If He’s Saved, But I Love Him!

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Not sure if he’s saved, but I love him! Have you heard this before? This happen sometimes with Christian women not knowing for sure if her boyfriend has a personal relationship with The Lord. Some Christian women say “I will never date a guy who doesn’t go to church.” So what does the guy do to get your attention? He’s there at your doorstep ready to pick you up for 9:30am service or he’s motivated to go to Church so he can see who he can attract. Let’s get some clarity on this topic, all men aren’t like that. There are men who sincerely love The Lord and want to do the will of God.

How do women get caught up in not knowing if he’s really saved, but love him? Because there are some guys who might not have a relationship with The Lord, but are morally good guys. And in some cases these guys treat women better than some Christian guys. I’m not saying a woman should settle for an unbeliever, but if she keep running into Christian guys who live contrary to the word of God, a good guy whose salvation she’s not clear about but treat her like a queen don’t sound too bad. I know this scripture is in reference to marriage but….

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. (I Corinthians 7:12-13 NKJV)

For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? (I Corinthians 7:16 NKJV)

I believe Paul knew in some marriages both the man and woman wouldn’t be believers.

Back to the woman who’s in love with an unbeliever. He doesn’t hate God, but lives by good morals and values. Sure, he will go to Church with her every so often because it makes her happy. She’s in hope of him joining the Church, but what he needs isn’t Church but a personal relationship with Jesus first. Am I saying a saved Christian woman should settle with a guy who’s saved also but live contrary to the Word? No. If you are a woman in this situation, please seek The Lord first before you make the decision to marry an unbeliever. There will be challenges if you decide to marry him.  Remember that you will be the closest person to Jesus your unbelieving spouse will see. Can you set Christ-like characteristics before him even when you go through the tough seasons of marriage?

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over WITHOUT WORDS by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives – 1 Peter 3:1-2

Here’s two reasons I believe God doesn’t want us to marry an unbeliever:

-This person has the ability to pull you away from God (just ask Solomon). If you decide to marry him, the two of you will become one. His decisions will impact your life in more ways than you can imagine. It’s easy to say “no one can pull me away from God!” but over time there can be a slow drift away from thinking and acting the way God would want us to act (I’m not saying you can lose your salvation, I’m saying in an intimate way where you and God was closer).
-There will be differences on how your children will be raised. Who will take the lead in “training up a child in the way he should go?” Since he’s the unbeliever what will he teach his children? If you are the wife do you still teach your child the Word of God despite your husband lacking the personal relationship with The Lord?

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? (II Corinthians 6:14-15 NKJV)

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Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play