What is the Perfect Person For You?

What Is The Perfect Person For You?

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DISCLAIMER: Another person’s outright refusal to allow themselves to be developed over time God’s way is not the same as their inability to do it. Therefore in their ability to do it; let them or leave them. Because at the end of the GOAL it wasn’t about either party finding perfect for them. It has and always will be about GOD and His perfect plans. We mess up when we frustrate ourselves on anther person’s refusal to grow and we trip over our own feet when we refuse to grow as well. Bottom Line: There is an END GOAL that only God can see and we must without demands and scrutiny of others growth rate tap into the Holy Spirit and locate what that goal is and who is attached to it. We have a “want.” God has always had a “WHY.”




This person is perfect for me. We fit can only be stated when we know that something has taken place that we had nothing to do with in them but upon them finding us or being found by them will bear witness with our spirit man that a shift is about to take place in our lives. Shifts either scare us or they make us shout. And our response to shifts determine if “we going to da Ship, we going to da Ship, we are GOING to the SHIP!” The Championship.  What is a perfect fit for you?

God has created each individual with His purposes in mind. Each of us are unique beings created by a Sovereign God. In relationships, when we say we are seeking the perfect mate for us; it is important that “us 1st know us.” Knowing “us” individually is key to understanding and appreciating others the way God made them. As humans we are subject to project our definition of perfect and imperfect onto others based on what is in us. I once heard a wise person say: “Whatever frustrates you in another person is what you are. Whatever aggravates you about another person’s behavior or personality is something you used to be or used to do.” If that notion is true then that means either you are going through it or you have grown from it. If you live at the easily agitated level it borders the easily offended level in which effectively doesn’t exist.

When you see a perfect person for you it’s necessary to go a step further after you have done serious self-introspection. That is a process over time. If you are still in that process;  what you think is perfect for you today may change by Spring. God expects us to grow. That growth is based on variables that require not only significant time in studying the Bible as it relates to us personally but also in prayer.  As we grow we mustn’t assume that our growth rate will be another person’s “measuring stick.” That is a double-edged sword. The edge that will cut is the one when another growing person demands that you meet them at their level instantly. We say “Grow up” all the time. I’m guilty of that too. But I had to ask myself: “When I’ve told people in the past to “Grow Up” it was because I had unwarranted and unfair expectations of them as I am not their God. If I am in “summer and they are in “winter” I cannot demand that the seeds of their growth will automatically pop up “on demand” through the straw or mulch that is blanketing through harsh conditions as God protects them from the elements as HE grows them His way. Just as they cannot expect me to “un-grow” and hide back underground. Neither can I nor anyone having made it through winter trample upon people making demands of perfection when we had to go through a process of our own ourselves undercover with Christ as our Identifier.

Bishop Noel Jones taught a sermon entitled: “I’m Still Growing Up.” In it he underscores the fact that pace and process are both determined by God but they are impacted by environment and human volition. He explains that super-imposing ourselves and where we are; none of us having “arrived” borders sin & manipulation which is as the sin of witchcraft.” It’s not only the bending of another person’s will to match our wants (which is incredulous as even our desires change over time and circumstance); but it is also serves no purpose. Anything that doesn’t serve purpose has no place. Who are we to tell people to “grow up?” The “clay is marred in the hands of the Potter” and He can make it again another vessel as many times as He has already planned to do (pre-destination) as He so chooses for not only is God Omniscient; He is also Omega. He authors well and He has finished well. He does all things well.

The posture of perfect is a fallacy. What is best is as Dr. Tamalia Hanchell speaks in her book, “Serena’s Secrets: Confessions of a Single Lady,” is to not expect a perfect mate. We are complete in Christ Jesus but we are being perfected every day even on those days where we see no apparent maturation.

When a person fits you they complement who you are and you complement who they are: in that season. Seasons change and so does our responses not reactions to them. Development be it spiritual or otherwise is nothing more than discipleship. First under the auspices of God and then under the credible counsel of others whereby in both, safe growth is found and flourishes.

Whatever season of life you are in now isn’t where someone else is. A perfect mate or a perfect friend or a perfect family member all have identity. As lovers of God our Christian duty is to sharpen the iron in others as they sharpen ours. Which means a cutting will take place. Those who “fit” us and are “perfect for” us are able to endure that cutting because it isn’t to kill them but it effortlessly helps them to climb (grow at God’s pace for them).

The misnomer is in the word itself “perfect.” The anomaly is underscored by attempts we make to become their “tailor,” when the Teacher (God) has already drawn the blueprint.

So what does all of that have to do with “finding the perfect person for us? I’m so glad you took the time to read on so that I may answer that for you:

We will never find the “perfect person for us.” Pause right there and ponder it. The “perfect other” will never find the “perfect us” either. When a person fits you there is no force involved. Which means that we don’t have to do or say a thing. All we have to do instead of parading around psychological playgrounds that we place people in is to have FAITH that GROWS in God & expect that in the season that we are headed to, not the one that we are in now, will be greatly appreciated by another person who has gone through their own and/or a similar season themselves having allowed God and Sound Counsel (that does not have to come from the Church) has helped them not only go through but grow through in such a way that by the time “we get dressed together” we aren’t just matching in the moment but we are marching together to make the difference God is daily calling us to do.

In relationships wisdom says that the perfect mates for us have been chiseled to shine beside us not on the day the gem was being germinated but that goal line at the end where God has already tossed the ball and is standing back as the Head Coach knowing that the connection will happen when we least expect it because we were intently focused on “fitting what was designed for us” and allowing the Tailor to customize “us” and the Farmer to care for us that when that person shows up: Our Faith has been worth the Fight because here comes that person in the arena of our “Fourth Quarter” of the game that we never saw coming but believed that they would, that all we will be able to do as kings and queens is bow our heads in reverent worship that two people are being Covenant Crowned to do Kingdom Business & the bonus in our GROW FORWARD is that we didn’t have access nor did we waste any time having to investigate or even INVEST in their Individual maturation.

We don’t work for faith we work from faith. And without faith it is impossible to please God. Pleasing God is paramount and the way that we do it will determine if we get to the promise of an imperfect people running at the pace set before them with their eyes on the prize to impact the world around them profoundly. Because you enter into a Covenant upon the premise that neither person will have to change the other nor want  to. That is why God gave ADAM a “sleeping pill” so that He wouldn’t attempt to adjust whom God was creating for him. Keep reading…

Point: Do you and be you and expect that the other person is being and doing them too. There is nothing I like more than seeing two people grow at the same time away from each other’s growth process because that means there is no subjective scrutiny sitting on the sidelines. Only a “Yes! There it (he/she) is; watch US go be it-Kingdom Style as we smile!”

Because at the rate God is moving;  He expects some unity to put on those uniforms and Assume Their Tailor Made Positions.

*Wow! I heard this place had everything in it that I would need and like but boy did I underestimate God’s ability to run me right into it as I was minding my own business about HIS!”*

As perplexing and all over the place as this blog post is as you read it looking for the “point of it all;” you just found it. You “ain’t going to figure it or anyone out trying to fix them to fit you.”

Transparently Tash turning the lights on Translucency that we all have clouded ourselves by not focusing on the Father.

Trust God and Triumph..Not Trip. A Championship is awaiting you.


Natasha Stevens

Natasha Stevens is a writer who has ghostwritten books for many leaders in both ministry & business. Natasha serves as an Ambassador for Girl Rising, a global platform that uses storytelling to inspire girls around the world to get an education and celebrates those who are overcoming obstacles to become the great girl leaders they were born to be. Having traveled and lived abroad for study and missions, she has garnered the respect of some of the top Universities and Prep Schools both in the United States and abroad, as well as Outreach Ministries. She is the Executive Director of Creative Content at www.pitch2me.com where she assists current and aspiring filmmakers in procuring financing for film and television projects. Natasha has a heart for women’s ministry as well as youth education, counseling & missions.