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In the overwhelming response I got from the readers to the popular blog I wrote “The Single Woman and The Waiting Process” here is the male version. The Single Man and the Hunting Process.
Side note: This isn’t all men but most from the men I talk to at church, friends, emails, and those I mentor.
As men we are the ones who look for a wife hence we are “hunters” by nature. The definition of hunter is: a person who searches for something. The term is used for men because of our nature. However some men are smart enough to know they aren’t ready for marriage so they play the background. Unfortunately during this time they “play the field” with women (in other words he’s willing to take what she allows him to have, jumping from one woman to another) and most of the time men have their way so why get married right? He knows what it takes to get you. He’s sensitive to your feelings, buy you flowers and say all the right things at the right time. Some men even know how to play on a woman’s emotions to get what he want.
Ok I know what my female readers are thinking “shouldn’t he have enough self control and respect for me not to use me?” Yes he should and I agree with you. My suggestion is this: It takes a spirit filled and disciplined individual to say no to something they know they can have. For example, you go to a buffet knowing you can have whatever you want but have the discipline to stick to portion sizes. Sure you can have as much food as you want! It’s what you paid for in the first place but to stick to portion sizes brings a different level of discipline.
The disciplined man in the hunting process for a wife is this: He dates with the intention of courtship then marriage. He doesn’t waste time sleeping around with women because he can, but choose to live a God honoring life as a single man. Contrary to popular belief, there are men like that out here who choose to honor God first. I know some of them personally! (Ladies please don’t email me asking where he’s at) When my wife and I dated my intentions was to find a wife, not a long term relationship. In most cases long term relationships that doesn’t end in marriage a couple of things happen: We end up in the bedroom, then a broken heart, mess up each other credit and possibly a unwanted child. The difference between the average man who like to play the field opposed to the man who’s the hunter for a wife is this: he’s responsible, has a job (or his own business) serve at his local church, help others, has a mentor and works on the vision God has given him. He doesn’t have time to casually date because it can slow him down and get off track.
Here are some things men are looking for/asks himself during the hunting process (qualities of a potential wife)
He has to be attracted to her first
What is her relationship like with God?
Can she respect me?
Do she talk too much?
Can she help me reach my goals?
Can she be a good mother to my children?
I wonder what she look like naked?