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Let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing -James 1:4
Here is a piece of advice for the single woman and the waiting process. My wife once said to me that when she was content with being single and not looking for a man is when I came into her life. She said she was tired of picking the man and will let God do it this time. I met my wife in 2001, dated for six months and then proposed to her, got premarital counseling, then we married on New Year’s Day 2002.
Each scenario is different for each woman, there is no cookie cutter format so be obedient to the way God has instructed you. One thing I see over and over again is this: many women will run into the same problem over and over again by giving away too much too soon to a man who won’t marry her. We live in a society where women are more aggressive than ever from finishing the college degree to buying a car and purchasing her own home and getting her man….
Let’s be real, we live in a microwave society where we want everything now. We want to live our dream now, we want the million dollars now, and we want the marriage now. In order to get the things we desire, there must be a waiting season. A season where God wants us to build character, integrity, and grace for others; the problem arrives when a woman might get a good man but she hasn’t taken care of her own issues, therefore, overlooking what she might have in front of her.
Sometimes she’s too busy trying to detach from a past relationship when the man she desires is waiting. That’s one reason why soul ties are destructive because of the slow detachment from a previous relationship. It’s like Velcro on wool or fleece, once attached it’s hard to pull apart. There needs to be a season of healing from past hurts and disappointments before thinking about marriage. Here are some helpful tips on what to do while you wait for that special someone to ask your hand in marriage.
Get closer to God: How close are you to God now? How often do you spend time in His word, prayer, and meditation? Will He continue to be first in your life even after marriage? If you marry sometimes there will be a struggle with spending time with God and the responsibilities of your family.
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. -1 Cor. 7:34
Pursue Your Dreams: Contrary to popular belief, God has a plan for your life as a single! You have purpose and vision on the inside of you. There is so much God can get accomplished through you because your time isn’t divided with the responsibilities of a husband, children, and working. What is that one thing you desired to do since you were a child? Pursue that dream now while single and you will find much fulfillment that thinking about marriage is the last thing on your mind because your schedule keeps you busy. Once married, everything won’t be about you because you have now become a
Once married, everything won’t be about you because you have now become a help meet to your husband. You are now helping him with his God-given purpose. So many wives struggle with what about me and my dreams after so many years of marriage. One reason why is they haven’t fully lived as a single and thought marriage would fix everything.
Take the spotlight off you and help someone else: One of the best things you can do during your season of waiting is to help someone else. Babysit for a married couple you trust so they can have a date night to enhance their marriage. They will be grateful for your service to them. So many of our young women need mentoring, so why not invest some of your time in the next generation? No better feeling than helping someone else, knowing that God uses you as a vessel to empower their life.
Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too –Phil. 2:4
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