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In the book by Dr. Steve Stephens Lost in Translation: How men and women can understand each other reads like this:
College Professor Howard Grant wrote “We have a picture of the perfect partner, but we marry an imperfect person. Then we have two options. Tear up the picture and accept the person, or tear up the person and accept the picture.” The book also reads:
“Expectations keep individuals in a state of immaturity where they don’t face the reality of marriage or the inevitability of differences. Immaturity clings to what it wants and throws tantrums when it doesn’t get it. Unmet expectations lead to resentment, and resentment is the killer of relationships.” This statement is true considering that as men we can be immature to our wives when she doesn’t meet or exceed our expectations. Some husbands want their wives to be their mother and clean up behind them and wait on us hand and foot.
Some men think that their wives are supposed to be ready for sex every time he gets the urge not knowing that sex starts in the morning by giving her compliments and speaking her love language regularly. Notice men, I said regularly so that way she has no problem giving you sex because you take the time to give her the love she needs. I remember when my Good Thing and I first got married, I tried to make her into a copy of myself and it was a struggle! Did I succeed? No. After years of marriage and trying to change her, I got tired and stopped trying to change her. Learn how to appreciate her individuality and she will blossom. We have to be considerate of our Wives, remember that we are made different from women and when we consider these things; our lives and marriages will be much easier.
In our marriages we need to learn how to share our time, money, and duties. Our time due to busy schedules we have to work, take the kids to daycare, events at the church, school and a plethora of other events too broad to name. Most cases our wives want to be romanced and we as men have to do the initiating first. Let’s not wait until she gets angry and start complaining about not spending time together. Do you work nights and her work mornings so the two of you have no time to spend together? After so long that schedule can wear and tear on a marriage. Remember that marriage takes work; here is some pointers that can work for your marriage to the men who FORGOT how to romanticize your Wife:
-Send the kids to Grandma house for the weekend or get some TRUSTED FRIENDS who doesn’t mind watching the kids for you.
-Take the wife to a movie she would enjoy. (God knows how many times she watched the movies you like. She doesn’t care if the movie was a dud; she just wanted to be with you). After words take her to dinner of her choice.
-Take her to Victoria Secret or a similar store for some lingerie. Even Wal-Mart if your finances are tight, more than likely the outfit won’t be on for long anyway. Pick out the outfit for her.
-Buy her some roses. Sprinkle rose petals over your bed. (If you really want to be Don Juan!)
-Take a warm shower together. Wash each other up! Lotion each other down after words.
-Play some romantic music and…..
Some men might say “That’s doing too much” but I would dare to say that you did it for those women you were dating previously trying to impress and the two of you weren’t married. Why do we do so much for those people we were dating and then we get married and get amnesia? I remember when my Good Thing used to come home from work late and I knew she would be tired so I would help my daughter with her homework, cook dinner, and have the house clean. Then when she taken off her shoes and relaxes I would have her some bath water running and the temperature would be around 75 degrees in the water. I would have some jazz music playing in the background and have her cup of tea with some tea biscuits on the side with the light dim and have some candles lit. She enjoyed it because she saw that I took the time to think about her and romance her years after our marriage.