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When I received the news that my boyfriend of 4 years had not only had an affair but also got the other woman pregnant I was devastated and hurt beyond explanation. I was a teenage mother and in love but the reality was setting in and I knew the truth, My future husband had an affair and there was a baby coming.
So what was I going to do? What were my next steps? Forgive him for letting me down and disappointing me because I felt his intentions were honest or let him go because I know I deserve better?
I became obsessed with knowing what happened, when, where and how often. I wanted to know every little detail. Was the relationship boring? Is she prettier than me? Is she a better lover? I was going to self-destruct with all these questions running through my head. And then I thought, Would knowing this information help me cope or would it make me go crazy?
I had to know and I wanted to know. I was ready to face the truth of why my life partner betrayed me. And when he finally admit his guilt and expressed his apologies, I knew we both had a long road ahead of us.
The discoveries of your partner’s infidelities during your relationship can be a hard pill to swallow. Discovering your spouse unfaithfulness is the most painful and shocking news that anyone can receive, And can possibly affect the chances of your relationship surviving.
So what can a rational person do once their precious loving sweetheart (In my sarcastic voice) has crossed that line of infidelity? Is it too late to turn back time?
Luckily, There are ways to overcome this obstacle. At the end, YOU decide if you will stay or leave.
Communication is very important in a relationship and especially while trying to repair one. The best way to deal with one another’s reaction is by going to a quiet secluded area and discuss one’s feelings. After discovering the unfortunate news, it may not be necessary to express disappointments so soon. After expressing intense emotions, it can shift the mood and also the blame on each other.
Generally, sharing feelings with someone who doesn’t have the time of day is an automatic red flag. There are thousands of message boards and counseling that will help one get through this tough time.
Restoring the trust that was destroyed after discovering the affair is the most difficult step if both parties decided they want to make things work. You have to forgive them and let it go. Better said than done, But you can’t keep reminding your partner of the mistakes they made especially if they’re making an effort to fix it.
Identify the real issues from the beginning so there won’t be any confusion and the issues get solved. This task takes a tremendous amount of effort and patience. But once the truth is revealed, as a couple you can empower anything together.
After all is said and done after both parties got whatever they needed off their chest, In the end, if you still can’t get over your spouse infidelity that’s okay. Only you know your worth. Cheating is not just a mistake but an ugly scar that only the victim involved has to live with. At the end of the day trust your instincts before you give to anything!Buffer