Three Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Take Back Your Ex

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Before you read any further I know what you are thinking. Yes, there are some couples who broke up and over the course of time they got back together and lived happily ever after. Very few are the exception and I prefer to play it safe than sorry when it comes to taking back an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. Do we all deserve a second chance? It depends on why the relationship ended in the first place. As for me, it never worked because one of us was more in love than the other and when love isn’t mutual the relationship become very fragile and vulnerable.

Over the course of time after the break up many things can happen. You either move on or wish that things could work out (never pressure anyone to come back to you, it only pushes that person further away, give them space and if they come back then maybe it was meant to be) Sometimes when an ex comes back to you it’s because they are alone and they know they have somewhat of a chance with you because of the past history between the two. Be careful not to fall into that trap! How can you expect to heal if you keep reaching back in your past?

I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead –Phil 3:13

I’m not saying that people can’t change because they can (only God can change him/her in God’s timing, not yours) Sometimes God has to remove people out our life because we can make our significant other our everything, making God second place and you know God isn’t having that! Always remember that your ex is your ex for a reason. After years of coaching couples, here are three reasons why you shouldn’t take back your ex:

You are a different person now:

From the time the two of you broke up to present day, think about how much you learned from that experience. Be mature enough to know you had a part to play and learned from those mistakes. No relationship is perfect but what separate longevity from short-term is how you handle adversity. Could the two of you have worked things out? Now you know what to do or not to do the next time you enter a relationship. The only issue is the next person will come with a different set of good and bad habits…

Old habits die-hard:

Sure you can take the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend back but if they truly haven’t changed they are likely to repeat what broke the two of you up in the first place. Saying you changed and actually making the change are two different things. A person can only keep up a façade for so long until the real you come out. We all got shortcomings, but are you honest enough to let your significant other know there are areas that need to be worked on and would never do anything to endanger the relationship through old destructive habits? As the old song says tell me baby can you stand the rain?

You deserve better:

Don’t play the victim to an old relationship. Pick your head up and put a higher value on yourself. Stop letting people label you and see yourself the way God see you. No disrespect to your ex but if they knew your value, the two of you would still be together.


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Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play