Tips for Lasting Marriages: Love is Patient

Tips for Lasting Marriages: Love is Patient

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We feel like we suffer in our own marriage because we want our spouses to behave the way we want them to. Christ suffered for us “For to this you were called because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that you should follow his steps.” 1Pet. 2:21 (NKJV) The word suffers means to be acted upon in a certain way, to experience ill-treatment, roughness, violence, or outrage, to endure suffering, and to undergo evils from without. Suffer asks the painful question “What is happening to me?” Regardless of how our spouse acts, we still need to carry ourselves in a godly manner. Marriage is not based on a condition. Romans 5:8 say “But God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Did Jesus say “No Father I will not die for them, look at him he is still hitting on his wife or no I will not die for them they are still living together and they aren’t married.” God love for us is unconditional so we should be the same way.

Our marriage should be so tight that regardless of what you done to me, if you’re hurting because of a certain situation arises, I should be hurt too 1Cor 12:26 says “And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it” (NASB).  Not having a revenge factor or an “I told you so mentality.” If there have been some childhood issues that need to be dealt with and it is affecting your marriage, get counseling and know that the issue does not go away overnight. When you’re constantly praying, doing, and loving your spouse (and plenty of sex if it is the man who needs help) through those issues, that is love and it suffers long. If the both of you are dealing with serious issues, its ok and know that you have to suffer sometimes and fight for your marriage! Many people do not have a fighter’s mentality when it comes to their marriage because it is so easy to get divorced.

Living in Arizona, when riding down the street next to a strip clubs and adult shops you see big signs that read “divorce 200 dollars” What strategic game plan for people to get divorced! If your spouse struggles with going to those places, soon as they come out of the adult shop they see “divorce 200 dollars” and the first thing they think is divorce. We as Christians need to take our marriage vows more seriously; too many people take marriage for granted. Some people cheat on their spouse just to try to get a divorce due to that person feeling that they married the wrong person in the first place. Cheating on your spouse is like coming off of your diet. Usually you eat healthy (being committed to your spouse) but I seen a triple chocolate cake (the one who is not your spouse) that I got to have. You know the consequences of eating wrong but you deserve to get a little break, right? Your spouse is the healthy food but it’s not always satisfying eating good on a regular basis but it helps in the long run. Once you get off of the good eating habits (being committed in your marriage) and start eating the sweets (the other person) too much sugar breaks the body down and when adultery takes place, it breaks the whole family down. If Adultery has occurred first repent to God first and get Godly counsel after words because Godly counseling is equivalent to seeing a personal trainer. The personal trainer (counseling) can show you how to get back in shape (your Marriage). After the personal training for a while, he will show you how to maintain your eating and exercising (your Marriage).

Love is an action 1Cor. 13:1-3 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing” (NASB). If the two of you love each other there will be suffering and it is for the better of the marriage. Always remember that “the sum is greater than the parts.” In other words do what is best for the marriage and stop being selfish!  The reason love suffers long for us is because we all come from a selfish mentality when we were single; there was no one but yourself to look after. When we get married THEN we learn to give of ourselves. Marriage is “What can I do for my spouse?” instead of having a Chaka Kahn mentality “What you’re going to do for me?” We must understand that Christ is the source of our joy because we all have off days and sometimes we act as if we are single.

 

 

 

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Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play