Two Reasons Why Playing House Won't Guarantee You a Spouse

Two Reasons Why Playing House Won’t Guarantee You a Spouse

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Many women view living together as a step towards marriage while many men see it as a test drive -Anonymous

Today, about 60 percent of couples live together before they first marry -Huffington Post

What’s the big deal about living together before marriage? I’m glad you asked because many people in today’s dating scene would call me antiquated. One reason for this is the lax attitude from men and women about commitment. Unfortunately women have been hurt so much that they play the I’ll use him for sex card. Contrary to popular belief, women aren’t wired that way so to believe that statement in your heart only causes greater stress and pain. As I think about today’s generation I try to help as many people as I can now that I know better. I want to help my readers not make this mistake if this is something you are contemplating. I been there before, renting an apartment with my girlfriend after I proposed to her thinking one day we will live happily after. Well that’s what I thought…

My ex girlfriend and I lived together for a year. I tried to stay faithful and do the right thing but knowing my ex wouldn’t go anywhere I figured I could get away with certain things. Playing house was cool because I had someone who always was there, I could have sex whenever I wanted and the financial burden was lifted off me because we had dual income. The problem was I had her thinking one thing and I was thinking something else.

Related Topic:  Seek Substance, Not Sex

She wanted love, affection and protection (and she was ready to move out her mother’s home) I wanted someone who would help take the financial pressure off me and have in-house sex. Me proposing to her was more of a show than actually wanting to get married and living life until “death do us apart.” We didn’t understand true commitment, she was 19 and me 21. What did we know about marriage at that age?

Many times we go into cohabitation not knowing the harm we are doing to each other. Spending years together messing up each other credit, forming soul ties, and birthing children out-of-wedlock all weighs us down once we find out they aren’t the right one and one of us moves out and the other person has to break the lease because they can’t afford it. We cohabit because we grew up with parents who did the same. Mom and Dad wasn’t married so what’s wrong with me doing it? We rarely remember our parents walking down the aisle, exchanging vows let alone being the flower girl. (Actually if we did it God’s way, we wouldn’t be birthed until after marriage)

Here are two reasons why playing house won’t guarantee you a spouse


-Living together won’t make him commit to marriage: As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, women will cohabit in hopes of thinking its a step towards marriage. Sure he will say he loves you and don’t want anyone else but he only says that to keep you around. Chances are once the two of you live together it decreases his chance of marrying you. He doesn’t have to eat his vegetables first (premarital counseling, abstaining from sex until marriage) in order to get dessert (sex) and ladies you are giving him brownies, ice cream and the triple chocolate chip cookies! Unfortunately too many women are willing to leave home at an early age to prove their parents that “I’m grown and can make my own decisions. I don’t need anyone to control my life” or in some cases women leave their parents home to live with a boyfriend because there is sexual abuse and they can’t take it anymore.

-He’s not there for your protection, but for you to keep his erection

But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God -1 Cor. 11:3

If the head of woman is man, he should be her covering. Let’s look at this from a marital standpoint: a man should cover his wife physically, spiritually, financially and emotionally.
Boys just hover over women, while a Husband cover his wife. To hover means
to remain suspended over a place or object. But it also means to be in a state of uncertainty, irresolution, or suspense. When living with a man without the commitment of marriage he only “hovers” over you i.e. “to be in a state of uncertainty, irresolution, or suspense.”

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Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play