Don't put your spouse where God supposed to be

Two Reasons Why Your Spouse Can’t Fill The Void

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Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength -Mark 12:30

What a wonderful feeling knowing you found the right one and its time to make a lifelong commitment in marriage! You have the engagement ring, both families are excited and everyone making plans for the wedding and reception. She’s telling all her girlfriends how perfect he is and he’s telling all his friends it’s time for him to settle down because he found the right one. This is the stage where we only see him/her through “The rose-colored glasses” (where your significant other can do no wrong. Everything about him/her is perfect) we have in mind the perfect life once married. We think this person will alleviate all our past problems (or current ones) after the honeymoon.

Contrary to popular belief, the one you marry cannot fill the void in your life. I believe this is one reason why the divorce rates high because of the aforementioned statement. Let’s get some clarity about the statement “filling the void.” First of all let’s not get it confused your spouse does play a big part in loving, providing, protecting, speaking words of encouragement, meeting your physical needs and doing the best they can to honor you. However they can’t be your everything: meaning they can’t fill the void in your life from your past or whatever you might be dealing with currently. No one can carry that type of responsibility.

For example: There is a loss in the family (it can be a parent or child, your home or job) and there is nothing you can do to fill the void. Sure we can hold our spouse, pray with him/her, and offer words of encouragement. The pain is still there after we done all we can. What if our health fails us? As a spouse we can’t nurse them back to health. It’s times like these we realize our frailties and this is where Jesus fills the void and we can depend on Him to get us through. Our greatest dependency on Jesus isn’t when things are going well, but in times of adversity.


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Here are two reasons why your spouse can’t fill the void:

1) We are finite:

yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes -James 4:14

Let’s admit it, we are all needy people. One reason we marry is for security….or ask the person who’s divorced. One day we’re up and the next day we’re down, one day we feel loved and the next day we feel lonely. Try to be consistent as you can, even when your spouse is in the wrong. If we can’t extend grace and mercy to our spouse the divorce rates continue to rise. Once we get the proper perspective of marriage from God’s point of view we can become more like Him making marriage more enjoyable.

2) Jesus wouldn’t make marriage more fulfilling than Himself:

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me -John 14:6

If marriage was more fulfilling than Him, why would we need Jesus in the first place? Marriage will make you draw closer to Him because your spouse has shortcomings (and the other way around) and we need to know how to handle them with care. Marriages become more healthier when we know our spouse is not the one responsible for our happiness.


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Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play