When Dating Takes A Wrong Turn

When Dating Takes A Wrong Turn

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I want to talk to singles about not regretting your past, or if you are single and plan on getting married and five years later won’t regret that decision. Author Neil Clarke Warren who wrote the books How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less and Finding the Love of Your Life: Ten Principles for Choosing the Right Marriage Partner tells his readers to get to know yourself first, how can one expect for someone else to know you and you don’t know yourself? Here are some other interesting things Neil Clark Warren wants singles to ask before you say I do:

-Who is the most powerful person in your life?
-Discover what you want in a marriage partner
-Develop a list of 10 “Must Haves”
-Develop a list of 10 “Can’t Stands”

Ultimately, you want the Holy Spirit to guide you in who is going to be your potential spouse. We see people through a different set of lenses when we are dating as opposed to when we’re married. For more information look at Samson and Deliah and their relationship in the book of Judges chapter 16:4-21

It’s worth repeating, isn’t it funny how we overlook things when we are dating? Deliah was setting up Samson to be killed on three different occasions and he still was with her. One of the reasons she was able to set up Samson was him telling her everything in Judges 16:18 When Delilah realized that he had told her everything. Just casual dating can sometimes get one into trouble if you allow that person to get into your ear gate. For more information read Genesis 3:1-6 on how Eve let the serpent get into her ear gate. If the person you are dating not marriage material, why are you telling them everything about you? Is it that you are hoping that you can tell them something about your life that they will feel sorry for you so that person can stick around so you won’t be lonely? If you continue to be around this person, then years later after the relationship the person you marry will have to deal with that old relationship; when ultimately all of this could have been prevented if you were obedient to the Holy Spirit.

Here are some issues one has to deal with when the person you are dating over the course of time isn’t marriage material:

-They might have bad credit due to charging credit cards to attain a certain kind of lifestyle. You played house with him/her and the two of you lived accordingly. After that relationship is over and years later you marry someone else, guess who inherits your bad credit score? Your Spouse.

-Mental wear and tear. Just being in a relationship causes stress. Going through living together, paying bills and having sex together was not intended for you and your Boyfriend/Girlfriend. Living together, paying bills, and having sex are for your spouse not for a Girlfriend/Boyfriend. When spouses hide money from each other that usually comes from living together with someone from their past. Since they were not married and living together each person never knew when the other person was going to leave them. So what does the person does? They put money to the side because they never know when the next time they are going to have an argument and someone says I’m tired of arguing with you, I’m not coming back and you can have this place I’m packing my stuff.

-If the two of you are dating long enough; sometimes women get pregnant and then children come into the picture. The relationship didn’t work out so the two of you moved on to other relationships and now we have blended families.
There has to be some boundaries between the two of you. Here are some suggestions:

-No staying over too late at your house. I know you’re grown but that is what got you in trouble last time.
-Don’t give your date all of your information about yourself. Keep him guessing until you know that he is going to marry you.

-No living together! Statistics show that living together before marriage there are a higher divorce rate for those who are common law. Read these statistics: The rate of divorce among those who cohabit prior to marriage is 39% vs. 21% for couples who marry without prior cohabitation. What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below and subscribe to our mailing list




Shon Hyneman

Single Father, Mentor, Blogger. The author of 5 books and founder of Never Again Ministries, a place where we can walk through life together. Shon also hosts of The Doctor of Love Show Podcast where he discusses real topics on relationships in a spiritual and practical way so you can apply it to your everyday life. You can subscribe to The Doctor of Love Show Podcast on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio and Google Play