When we want to take the easy way out

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            Ever just get tired of life?  Tired of the same old job?  Tired of struggling financially?  Tired of being single, while all your friends get engaged or married? Tired of being married?  Well, whatever position you are in, I know the feeling and you are not alone my friend.  

            Throughout my years of being a Christian, I have heard many people, if not all say that they are tired of whatever relationship status they are in.  I have had single friends, tired of being single because they feel lonely.  I have had married friends, tired of being married because it is simply too hard.  Whatever the reason, being single or married is something that is too hard to bare with, so many want to take the easy road home.  Often times the easy road comes at a price that many don’t see coming, so it often becomes a road that leads to even more difficult curves and bumps along the way.

            Contentment.  One of the hardest things for any human being to have in one’s life.  Sometimes we tell people how we feel content, meanwhile, our souls are saying otherwise and instead of giving it up to God we are giving into whatever we “feel” is right.  For example, I have seen this happen many times to my friends or just friends of friends, but whenever I see this I can’t help but cry a little for this person.  But only because my heart goes out to them knowing what they don’t know they’re getting themselves into.  Because of loneliness being such an epidemic in the 21st century, many singles tend to settle.  It is the honest to God truth and I feel that we see it every day, be it within our own self, our family, or closest friends.  We see it but don’t say anything about it and in hopes just pray that it “all works out for the best”.

            1 Timothy 6:6 says it best, “But godliness with contentment is great gain”, and it is.  However, how can we reach it, when in our own lives whenever we struggle in our season we turn to the easy way out?  Singles tend not to have any set of standards so they settle with the first thing that catches their eye.  Married people are wanting to be single because they “didn’t sign up for this”, even if their vows said, “for better or worse”.  So basically when the going gets tough we run and hide.  But it was never intended for us to give up so easily like that.

            One of my favorite authors, Lysa Terkeurst, had said one of the most compelling things that we often forget in the midst of trust, especially when our minds tend to get the best of us.  She said: “Those with minds fully braced, upheld, and supported by truth and trust in God will be kept in perfect peace. The mind feasts on what it focuses on. What consumes my thinking will be the making of the breaking of my identity”.  So my question is, in any circumstance you are in, will you choose to trust God even when it seems He’s not listening to your prayers?  Even when it looks like your world is falling apart?  Will you shut up those voices in your head and turn to the Word of God that is filled with Truth?

            Our minds play so many tricks on us and it is the enemy’s playground.  When I was living my life of singleness, the enemy was always saying things to me that wanted me to just give into that one guy, who was a strong Christian, but I knew deep down wasn’t the one for me.  The enemy wanted me to call up that one ex that mistreated me just so I wouldn’t be lonely again on a Friday night.  There was so much going on around me and my thoughts kept compelling me to give into what my flesh wanted.  But I had to rely on God, trusting that He knew what He was doing because He is God and I am not.

            Even being married now, I often see and hear how married couples; even the Christian ones, have been viewing marriage after the honeymoon phase has left the building.  When a trial circumstance happens and ends up lasting longer than expected, many are ready to throw in the towel.  Although the Word of God is clear as to why marriage is to show Jesus and His church, we often try to find loopholes in that.  I have heard everything from, “well God doesn’t want His children unhappy” to “well if we divorce God understands and will forgive me” and of course my favorite, “I didn’t sign up for this”.  But how would we feel if Jesus said that to us?

            Jesus made a choice to lay down His life for us and for our sins.  We are His bride, we are His Beloved, and our Groom loves and chases us relentlessly.  But when it comes to the context of marriage as the example of a divine institution being used by Him to teach us what it is to have a relationship with Him, it seems that’s when things get tricky.  Why?  Because we live in this thing called our flesh and the human mind can’t take so much when it is under so much pressure, including the union of marriage.  Yet, how did Jesus do it?  He came down in the flesh and was tested by every possible way we are now and yet didn’t give up on us and loved us like nobody had before.

            Let’s look at this in a more of a microscope manner.  Jesus comes and says to us (if we truly think about it), “I take you to be my bride, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part”.  The thing is Jesus means it.  Whereas when the day comes and we tie our souls to another human being who is just as flawed and messed up as we are, we have restrictions.  “To have and to hold, from this day forward”, tends to be, “well until you mess up so badly that is”.  Then “for better, for worse”, tends to be, “well if I have more bad days then good then we’re not meant to be”.  To “for richer, for poorer”, tend to be, “well for such when we’re rich I’ll be here but if we’re poor and suffering then I can’t be with you cause you can’t provide for me”.  Lastly, “in sickness and in health, until death do us part”, tends to be, “well you have cancer and can’t meet my needs sexually, so I can’t deal”.

            But Jesus, well He sees everything in a different light.  He says to the single person who is lonely, “I see you beloved, I know your pain. I too know of loneliness and wanting to give in. But I am here with you, holding you, crying with you, loving on you and I have something better in store if you just trust in my Father. Your wait is over and boy do we have the perfect mate for you”!  He sees the married couple and whispers to their tender hearts to not give up on each other because He has never given up on you.  He says to forgive each other just as He’s forgiven your sins, no matter what you’ve done.  Jesus is saying to keep holding on and to trust Him because nothing bad lasts forever and your faithfulness will be rewarded in due time.

            Whoever is reading this, I know what it is like to want to give up, whether you’re single or married, I have been in both positions.  You are not alone, and even if no one knows of your current situation; know that Jesus is right beside you holding you up together and encouraging your soul.  Sometimes we may not know why we go through what season we are in, but God has a purpose.  He may be trying to get your attention and wanting you to focus on Him while He whispers to your heart and fills it with strength to keep going.  There are a time and a season my friends, but none of it has to be in vain when you got your Groom right beside you.


Mica Craven

I am 24 years old. I reside in Plano Texas. I'm a wife and a dog mama. I'm a blogger and a photographer. I love God and people and love to love on others.